Ways Motherhood Make You a Celebrity

This is a Top Ten list from the back of the Parenting magazine I get...

1. Someone's always hounding you for your autograph. Even if it's just on a permission slip for the class trip to the recycling center.

2. You travel with an entourage. Okay, so two of them are fighting over a bag of Doritos and one of the has a crusty nose, but STILL.

3. You spend your days club-hopping. How else would your kids get to Brownies?

4. You're front and center at every awards show. Because your 10-year old would never forgive you for being absent when he wins the school carnival karaoke contest.

5. You change your clothes three times a day. And it's much more fun if you pretend it's because you're being stalked by the paparazzi, not a messy toddler.

6. You're on a spa diet. Your kids only leave broccoli on their plates for you.

7. You've flashed your boobs in public. Hey, it's not easy to juggle a hungry baby in one hand and unhook a nursing bra with the other!

8. People beg to sleep with you. Well, only because there's a monster under their bed.

9. You're covered in tattoos that your kid got in a birthday-party goody bag and plastered on you when you were too pooped to resist.

10. Hassled as you feel right now, in 20 years you'll miss all the chaos.